contract has ended last fri. i was enjoying life staying at home ytd and today. totally living it up, the taitai life. finally can sleep in late, read newspapers!! watch bo ying ren (oh how i miss it so much! my childhood show with sharon au as chen mei guang guang guang....) no longer have to stare at the painful computer screen in the office doing nothing and worried that i will get caught surfing the net, put mask, applying lots of face cream, and pampering products, and last but not least, guard the house.

but after 2 days, im already getting bored of staying home. need to get a job fast! plus i bought so many g2000 clothes gotta put them to use! okay i think i just bought $400 worth of g2000 clothes plus 50% disct so i saved 200! shiok.

and i need income to go travelling!

after much thoughts, i realised i haven been living my life the way i want it to be. But yet again, life dont always go on like how you plan it to be. right now, im going the very protective, apathetic, very taken care and spoon fed route. going through school, working admin jobs during holidays, that kind of totally guai student and daughter.

but what i want is to really experience the hardships, challenges, getting out of this protective bubble, and trying out things considered the abnormal. like for eg, dress up as a buggly bear entertaining kids in an amusement park, work in a theme park permanently, but now my life has been shaped so nicely for me, that it tells me to go school, study, graduate, work and thats all. how conventional and boring isnt it'? and since its already shaped like that for me since i was young, like the education system planning and prompting me where to go next and that sort of thing, i find it difficult to come out of my comfort zone and try this unconventional route.

if only i can plan my life again, i will do all these. and there are so many things which i want to change but its too late. and even learning from mistakes now, still cannot change it cos what's over is over.

sometimes i feel like approaching a palm expert to read into my future. i really cant picture my life in future. and that day i just chance upon some palmistry books my father has been keeping for years but clearly forgotten about. but when i open it, i cldnt understand, or rather i didnt have the patience to read finish the whole bk to know how to read my palm.

and this reminds me i have 2 books at home that i bought but haven read yet. i have high inertia for books!!!

MAPP report says that im philosophical. hmmm.